Natural Hair Confession

A few weeks ago during the beginning of the internet meme craze, I stumbled upon a Natural Hair meme.

When I first saw this picture I thought that "what we want" and "what we have" don't look very different to me. I would consider both to be legitimate hair styles that took time and effort to achieve.


What really caught my attention though was "what society sees". At first I thought to myself, "yes, that's definitely true". So I decided to post the picture in the Canadian Naturals Facebook group that I created, to see if anyone else saw what I saw.


There were a few comments, but the one that caught my attention was from my dear husband... He wrote:

"I don't see black hair as 'what society sees'. But is it fair to say that if this is generally 'what society sees', it may be a self fulfilled proficiency, caused by black women not embracing the true beauty of their hair?"

I read his comment over and over again and I had nothing to say because... he was right. I didn't know how to respond... So I simply clicked "Like".

Since I began my natural hair journey, I have been lucky enough that I have not experienced any negativity from anyone outside my family about my hair. I do get the occasional question from my mom, "are you going to get your hair done?" (after I've spent 30 minutes doing it...) But otherwise, I can honestly say that once my friends, co-workers, and my husband got over the initial shock of my baldness, the comments have been positive... Unless someone is too scared to say something (which is fine with me too).

But then if that's the case, what would make me automatically think "yes, that's definitely true" about the image of "what society sees". After thinking about it carefully, with the motivation of my husband's comment, I came to the realization that it's because this is how I used to see my own natural hair. I never thought of my natural hair as beautiful... Frankly I never really thought about my natural hair at all except when it was time to get it chemically straightened. Growing up that was just what you did... "getting your hair done" usually meant getting it chemically straightened, then followed with whichever hairstyle you chose, so I never had the chance to really deal with my natural hair until now.

So I guess the picture for "what society sees" is true, but who is the "society" referring to? I believe we are guilty, or at least I can say I was, in that because I thought this of my own natural hair, I thought this must be what others were thinking as well.