TWA in the workplace

So what is a TWA you ask? Teeny Weeny Afro! That is the classification of my hair at the length that it is at right now. Although I think I will be past that stage very soon because I am almost able to put my hair into a ponytail now... MILESTONE!!

Anyway... That's not the point of this post.

A few weeks ago I received a message from a fellow 'Nuturalista' asking me about styling options for her TWA for work. She was bored of wearing her hair in just the Afro and wanted something "more professional".

Around the same time, there was a lot of discussion in the natural hair forums that I frequent, about how much trouble some women were having in the workplace with their natural hair. There were some that even suggested that natural hair is not professional (huh?). Some women said that they wear wigs to work in order to look more presentable.

My take on this? It's not just your hair that makes you look professional or presentable. If you don't look like you put any effort into your entire appearance, it won't matter if your hair is natural, relaxed, twisted, straight, long, short, whatever!

Also, if you don't have confidence within yourself to know that you are beautiful with your hair the way it is, it will show... and this will just open the door for ignorant people to add their unnecessary commentary. But that's just my opinion.

So... I was inspired to go through a week and style my hair the way I would to work (yes I have actually worn ALL these styles to work before). By doing this I hope to inspire those who are either bored with their TWA, or simply just want new styling options.

Video tutorials are also available if you click the captions... Hope you enjoy!

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

stop babying him...

Out of all the things people say, with respect to giving me parenting advice, I think this advice is the most annoying for me to hear... "stop babying him".

Baby J is now seven months old and he's developing his own personality. In general he's a pretty content baby and he doesn't fuss much (he definitely gets that from his dad). He is also becoming very independent (he gets that from me). This is great because when I do hear him fussing I KNOW there is something bothering him, so I will tend to him. And that's when the comments start... "you're going to spoil him", "let him cry a little", "you're picking him up too much", "stop babying him"...

What gets me is, most of these comments come from people who aren't even around him enough to know his true demeanor. Isn't that how it always is?

First of all, he's still very much a baby, so I don't see anything wrong with "babying" him. Second, ever think that maybe he's such a happy baby because I DO tend to his every cry? There are hundreds of articles that support 'Attachment Parenting', suggesting that it improves baby's development and behavior. Lastly, there's this little thing I've been developing since I was pregnant... Instinct. If my instincts tell me to pick him up, console him, baby him, guess what? That's what I'm going to do.

Every baby is different, we all know. What works for one is not guaranteed to have the same effect on another. I don't know every baby, but I do know mine, and if I hear him cry you better believe I will be there to tend to him. There will come a time when he won't want my hugs and kisses because it won't be "cool"... So while he still likes my cuddles, I'll give them to him whenever he cries.

my earring obsession

Back in March 2011 when I cut my hair and decided I wasn't going to put any more chemical relaxers in my hair, I found a new love for earrings. It started because I was trying to find ways to feel more feminine with my short hair.

Now its not even about my hair anymore... I'm just obsessed with earrings... big, bright, long... I just love them!

I think there are worse things I could be obsessed with so... I don't feel bad :)

reasons why i love you

Every year, my husband is very specific as to what he wants for Christmas so it has never been hard for me to please him. Sometimes he doesn't even want me to bother wrapping the gifts because he already knows what it is (where's the fun in that?!). He is a very practical person when it comes to gifts. Christmas, birthdays, whatever.

So this year I decided that I was going to get him everything he wanted, but I also wanted to do something a little special, something different... so here's what I came up with. :)

It's just your regular standard playing cards and I stuck some adhesive paper to the back of each card and started listing all the reasons why I love him. To keep it interesting I also mixed in a few romantic favors. You can let you imagination run free and be as adventurous as you want here.

He was definitely not expecting something like this but he loved it and he always wants to pull a card. Whether he pulls a card that tells him one of the reasons why I love him, or a card with a favor like a sensual massage, you can't go wrong... Try it!

Baby J adventures...

We have been introducing solids to baby J slowly since he was just over 4 months old. Nothing crazy, just rice cereals that can be mixed with breast milk or formula. We tried some squash and banana once because we got so excited but then decided to wait a whie longer because he wasn't enjoying it as much.

Anyway, a couple nights ago I was having my dinner after I had fed him. I sat with him while he played so that I could keep an eye on him while I ate. My husband noticed that baby J was trying to reach for my bowl!

He wasn't interested in his toys... He clearly wanted my bowl of spaghetti. Before I knew it, his hands were in my bowl and I decided, I'm full anyway so I might as well see what he's so curious about...

This is what my husband caught on our camera... Enjoy!

Things I've Learned So Far...

Maternity Leave is not Time Off!

When most people find out that I'm on maternity leave they are always telling me "oh you're soo lucky to have some time off..." I just smile at that comment because obviously I don't consider it as "time off" to be home with my baby. It is both physically and mentally demanding, as all moms know, to tend to a baby's every need 24/7!

Is it wrong that I get a little annoyed at that comment? If that's not enough, the question of "why are you always so tired?" is among one of my favorites. Really? You are well aware that I have a 5 month old baby and you really wonder why I am always tired? Pardon me but I find that to be a very ignorant question and one that I will not waste my time answering.

When baby J is up he requires my attention all the time. From feeding him, to entertaining him to ensure he stays on track developmentally, to comforting him when he cries, to helping him fall asleep when he's exhausted... yes, he needs my help to fall asleep.

When he does fall asleep I have to then take care my needs, yes, I also have needs. I have to eat as well otherwise he will have no food since I am breast feeding...

During the day he doesn't sleep for more than an hour at a time so there's not much time for me to take a nap as well so the best thing I can to is to just lay down and try to relax after I feed myself because when he wakes up, guess what? We have to do it all over again, and it is nonstop until bedtime which is usually around 11:00pm for baby J.

He's not sleeping through the night yet so that means I'm not sleeping through the night either. On a "good" night I get 4 hours of continuous sleep before he wakes up to feed again. He will sleep a total of about 9 hours in the night (not continuous obviously) before he's up for the day.

So please, don't think for a second that maternity leave is "time off"... And for goodness sake please stop asking me why I'm always tired. I have too much on my mind, I don't need to now be worried about looking tired. Thanks...

Sleep? Huh? What is that?

Last night felt like the first day we brought baby J home, in terms of how much sleep I got (or didn't get).I thought we were getting better with the sleeping thing but I guess not. He went to sleep at 11:30pm (like seriously??!) and then woke up at 3:30am... I didn't mind that because I have come to expect that (to the point where sometimes I wake up a minute before he does). BUT then he woke up again at 5, then again at 6:30 then at 8! WTF?!

It better be some type of growth spurt because seriously I am exhausted! He has been up since then until about 5 minutes ago when I was able to get him back to sleep for his morning nap.

I think I would've been better off if I had just stayed awake and watched a movie or something during that time because I now have a serious headache from those 20 minute naps that I took in between his feedings.

Should be a very fun day!

If you can't tell from the tone of this post, I am super annoyed right now. But he's going to wake up with that smile on his face and I'm just going to melt... :)

Welcome

As a first time mom everyone seems to want to give you advice on what, when, and how you should do certain things for your baby.

I'm not here to give advice, just to document and share my experiences with raising my baby. From the normal everyday things to learning that having a biracial baby actually matters to some people...?

Join me as I take on my new job as a mother. :)

xox

JOB POSTING

Job Title:
New Mother

Job Description:
Jack of all trades. Must be willing to work at all hours of the day and night, with little to no sleep... This is for the rest of your life.

Previous Experience:
On the job training provided.

Wages:
No salary provided, this will actually COST you money.

Benefits:
Hugs, kisses, and unconditional love from the most beautiful baby in the whole world!